numbskulduggery

Video

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:11:23 -0500

Soon to be a minor motion picture

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 11:36:15 -0500

Host: Hey. Hi. Thanks for being here. Hi. You look fabulous.
Guest: Hi. Thanks for having me.
Host: Hi.
Guest: Hi.
Guest: So.
Host: Hey. Hi. How are you? You look fabulous. Like an orchid turning toward the dappled sun of morning, preparing to spread its delicate petals and to reveal its intimate interior, pistal and stamen standing erect, waiting for the soft caress of a honey bee.
Guest: Excuse me?
Host: Just a figure of speech. I used to do porn.
Guest: Ok.
Host: So. Hey. Hi. Great to have you here. You look fabulous.
Guest: Thank you.
Host: So. Hey. Hi. Great to have you here. You look fabulous. Your eyes are porcelain platters and when you turn your attention to me it is as if I am basking in the rays of the rising sun and I know that this is a new day and all of my yesterdays have been left behind. I used to do porn.
Guest: Excuse me?
Host: So. Hey. Hi. Great to have you here. You look fabulous. Were your hair made of wire, surely it would be the finest tungsten filament that money could buy. I understand you have a movie coming out soon.
Guest: What? No, I've never been in a movie.
Host: Really? You should try it. Great fun. I used to do porn. It's as if a freight train were hurling headlong into a tunnel with the engineer yelling "all aboard". Don't get me started.
Guest: I'll try not to.
Host: So. Hey. Hi. Great to have you here. You look fabulous.
Guest: Thank you.
Host: I used to do porn.
Guest: I don't know how to respond to that.
Host: Hey, don't worry. I try not to make a big deal out of it. You look fabulous. Under these studio lights your alabaster skin shines forth like a beacon, its high albedo transforming you into such a super nova of beauty that I must wear sun glasses to guard against your radiance.
Guest: Thank you.
Host: Hey. Hi. Great to have you here. So. You've written a book. That's fabulous.
Guest: What? No. I haven't written a book.
Host: Hey, don't worry about it. I used to do porn.

"Despite his sluggish appearance, he climbed the chess hierarchy at dazzling speed."

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:38:48 -0500

“Despite his sluggish appearance, he climbed the chess hierarchy at dazzling speed.”

- AFP: Magnus Carlsen, the prince of chess turned king

Carlsen wins Wijk aan Zee going away.

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 09:06:53 -0500

Carlsen wins Wijk aan Zee going away.

Helter Skelter The Bobs The Bobs

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 08:49:03 -0500

Helter Skelter

The Bobs

"I do not wish to invent space aliens in order to shore up Communism. I wish to shore up Communism..."

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:09:37 -0500

“I do not wish to invent space aliens in order to shore up Communism. I wish to shore up Communism because it is the best defense against alien invasion.”

- Comrade Frenkel (from Adam Roberts’ Yellow Blue Tibia)

"If American workers had been rewarded for 100 percent of their increases in labor productivity..."

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:57:24 -0500

“If American workers had been rewarded for 100 percent of their increases in labor productivity between 1980 and 2008—as they were during the middle part of the 20th century —average wages in 2008 would have been $28.53 per hour—42.7 percent higher than the average real wage in 2008.”

- Post-Superbowl Strategies - David Madland

You Can’t Sit Down Hound Dog Taylor and the...

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:17:04 -0500

You Can’t Sit Down

Hound Dog Taylor and the HouseRockers

Natural Boogie

Just a Closer Walk with Thee Ella Fitzgerald Brighten the...

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 10:54:00 -0500

Just a Closer Walk with Thee

Ella Fitzgerald

Brighten the Corner

Motorist: (sound of honking and squealing brakes)

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:05:57 -0500

Motorist: (sound of honking and squealing brakes)
Girl 1: ...and so, uh, Abby was, is that her name? Yeh, Abby was there and that made me really mad...
Motorist: Are you girls blind?
Girl 2: What's her problem?
Girl 1: Abby, she's just stuck up.
Girl 2: No, I mean hers. Geez.
Motorist: Get out of the road!
Girl 3: Wait, which Abby? The blonde? I hate those scarves she wears.
Motorist: (honks)
Girl 1: Really, what is her problem?
Me: You're crossing against the light!
Girl 3: What?
Me: You're walking in the middle of traffic.
Girl 1: What?
Girl 2: Omigod! Who is that guy? What is his problem?

one two three

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 18:48:00 -0500

This is a test, my friends. An experiment. I am reminded that not so many years ago a Polish mathematician thought that there was a chance that an experiment he had helped to devise would set the atmosphere of the earth on fire, ending human life. I suppose this is why the United States government — it was under their authority that the test was performed — picked a humid equatorial locale, a place where the dank air would surely smother any fire, leaving America’s postwar inheritance secure. The location of a test is sometimes important, is my point. But I don’t mention this to say that the location of this particular test is important. That is not my meaning at all! Not. At. All. It’s just that I know that you might have had that thought, and so I wanted to take a brief moment to inoculate. This is only a test, and the location — by which I mean the internet — was not chosen for any particular reason. Nor is there any reason to suppose that the test was conducted under the authority of the U. S. government. No reason at all. None.

Drivin’ Nails in my Coffin Ernest Tubb and his Texas...

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 17:38:00 -0500

Drivin’ Nails in my Coffin

Ernest Tubb and his Texas Troubadours

On Tour

(recorded live at the world famous Cain’s Ballroom in Tulsa, Oklahoma)

Taj Mahal - Blind Boy Rag Track 2, Side B De Ole Folks at Home

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:12:00 -0500

Taj Mahal - Blind Boy Rag

Track 2, Side B

De Ole Folks at Home

Polgar: Breaking through the barriers in the world of chess | Lubbock Avalanche-Journal

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 10:00:42 -0400

Polgar: Breaking through the barriers in the world of chess | Lubbock Avalanche-Journal

The Kissing Experiment | The Intersection | Discover Magazine

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:46:22 -0400

The Kissing Experiment | The Intersection | Discover Magazine

"Amid the tropical heat of a Philippine prison, convicted murderers, rapists and drug dealers on..."

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 02:30:56 -0400

“Amid the tropical heat of a Philippine prison, convicted murderers, rapists and drug dealers on Saturday paid tribute to Michael Jackson with a reprise of their YouTube dance hit, “Thriller.””

- Filipino prisoners honor Jackson with ‘Thriller’ show - CNN.com

"Michael Jackson will need to be supremely fit to perform a series of 50 shows in London starting..."

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 18:46:06 -0400

“Michael Jackson will need to be supremely fit to perform a series of 50 shows in London starting next month. The dates are fast approaching. Who better to get the so-called King of Pop into royal shape than bodybuilder and actor Lou Ferrigno, who was known for having fast-growing muscles playing The Incredible Hulk on television in decades past.”

- Fan Fare » Blog Archive » The Hulk trains Michael Jackson ahead of London concerts | Blogs |

"I am not so interested in dictating to others how they should remember their past. Let the Lost..."

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:30:56 -0400

“I am not so interested in dictating to others how they should remember their past. Let the Lost Cause find itself, our search lies within. And when it’s over, we will put Ida Wells up against Nathan Forrest, on any day of the week, and leave the generations to judge. Sooner or later, in the words of Nas, we’ll all see who the prophet is.”

- In Every Black Man’s Eyes—Death To The Rebel - Ta-Nehisi Coates

"USSR’s first orbital toilets were custom-made. Gherman Titov, Andriyan Nikolayev, Pavel Popovich,..."

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 13:20:38 -0400

“USSR’s first orbital toilets were custom-made. Gherman Titov, Andriyan Nikolayev, Pavel Popovich, Valery Bykovsky and Aleksey Leonov had to have their buttocks measured for their personal toilets. A research institute in Moscow still has the bronze toilet bowl, which first woman in space Valentina Tereshkova used.”

- Healthy diet of Russian cosmonauts ruins NASA’s space toilets - Pravda.Ru

"The menu of US astronauts is nutritious as well, but it looks more like a diet ration and presumably..."

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 13:20:01 -0400

“The menu of US astronauts is nutritious as well, but it looks more like a diet ration and presumably consists of exotic fruit, vegetables, sea food and low-fat meat. That is why, their waste is much softer. Engineers took account of these peculiarities when designing the sewage system for the ISS. It just so happens that the solid Russian waste ruined the US toilets in space.”

- Healthy diet of Russian cosmonauts ruins NASA’s space toilets - Pravda.Ru